Birthday treat

I had a fabulous day out in London last weekend, celebrating my birthday with my lovely husband and our two equally lovely children.

We went to see the matinee performance of 'Shakespeare in Love', which is currently playing at the Noel Coward theatre. The play was excellent -- really good acting and imaginative set. And the best bit was that the actors actually took several non-choreographed curtain calls -- not your usual two formulaic bows, but a genuine reaction to the audience's applause. The lead actress even looked surprised at coming out for the third curtain call, as if she'd been about to return to the dressing room, but had been ushered back last minute.

We then went on to dinner at Cantina Laredo -- a Mexican restaurant on St Martin's Lane that we had been meaning to try out for a while. It was very good. The food was extremely tasty and, because we were early, we managed to take advantage of the cheaper pre-theatre menu. The restaurant is huge and extremely busy, but still the staff are friendly and welcoming and the food arrives in good time.

All in all, a great birthday out!

Valentine's Day

I had a lovely Valentine's celebration last weekend.

The week before, I received an invitation through the letterbox from 'a mysterious admirer' inviting me to dinner at my own house. Of course, it was from my husband. He cooked a beautiful meal for me on Saturday evening complete with champagne, roses and chocolates. I felt very spoilt.

The kids were complicit, refusing to tell me anything about the invitation in advance, despite me asking, and very considerately watching TV in the snug on the night while we ate our meal together.

I really am very fortunate to have such a lovely husband and children. My husband and I have been married for 18 years and together for 25 years, so this just goes to show that romance doesn't have to die, no matter now long your relationship has been going!

The Oxfordshire Museum, Woodstock

I have been meaning to visit the Oxordshire Museum in Woodstock for some time, and the kids and I finally got round to it this half term.

It was definitely worth the wait! We really enjoyed ourselves and managed to spend two-and-a-half hours there, including a stop for lunch, which is longer than some much larger museums have detained us in the past.

The building that hosts the museum is beautiful -- a large eighteenth-century house in the heart of the historic market town of Woodstock -- and each gallery or room of the house includes a wall plaque telling you a little about the history and past uses of the room itself.

The museum collection is eclectic, but broadly covers artefacts from, and periods of history pertaining to, Oxfordshire. There are galleries covering dinosaurs, Roman times, the Victorians, wildlife, innovation, the people of Oxfordshire, and more. The artefacts are very well presented, there are hands-on activities, and the theme running through much of the museum is that history is about people and the way they live their lives.

The museum also boasts a spacious and lovely garden (full of spring flowers when we visited) with a terrace where you can sample the food from the cafe on warmer days.

An added bonus when we visited was 'Keeping up Appearances', an exhibition of women's fashion through the two world wars, which told the story of how changing fashions reflected the changing status and lives of women.

I would highly  recommend a visit to the Oxfordshire Museum, and if you want to catch 'Keeping up Appearances', make sure you visit before 12 April.

The many faces of old age

I have a number of elderly relatives and I never cease to be amazed by the different approaches that they adopt to old age.

Some never stop talking about their age; it is clearly a fundamental part of their lives. These people tend to be intensely concerned with their health, discussing in minute detail event the slightest ache or pain that they experience. They seem unaware that all people of their age experience this kind of discomfort and malaise on a day-to-day basis. An eighty-year-old naturally feels different, physically, from a twenty-year-old. These people also lose their zest for life. 'I am too old' is a common refrain that is applied to all kinds of situations -- the wish to no longer travel, to stay at home, to cook the simplest of meals...

By contrast, others make the most of their old age. They travel, socialise, entertain, and are probably even more active than earlier on in their lives. It is clear that they too experience the discomforts of old age -- you can observe them rubbing an arthritic hand, walking slower than they used to, sinking down gratefully into a comfortable chair -- but you never hear them talk or complain about these things. Rather than giving in to old age, they seem to meet it head on.

And there is a third approach to old age that I have encountered -- recognising that the end is coming, the people in this category start analysing their lives, looking to right any wrongs that they believe themselves to have committed. They are, I suppose, seeking atonement or some kind of closure and it is this that drives their actions in, and approach to, old age.

I suppose that these different takes on ageing are really just an extension of the individual's personality. A young person with a negative outlook is likely to grow into an elderly person with a negative outlook. Someone who has always embraced life will carry that attitude forwards into old age. But it makes you think and, more importantly, it makes you realise how you would like to be in old age. I hope that I still remember this when I reach that stage in my own life.

Walking with children

My husband and I love walking. Pre-children, we would go out every Sunday, come rain or shine, and do a brisk five or six miles. We would always come back happy, refreshed, and with the satisfaction of having seen things that we could never have seen from a car window.

When our oldest was born, almost thirteen years ago now, we carried on the tradition for a bit. While it was still possible to transport her in a front or back carrier, she came with us. But then she became too heavy. Once she could toddle by herself, there was no way she had the stamina to do long country walks. And then we had a second baby.

So, you get the picture. No more walks.

A decade later, now that the kids are grown and perfectly capable of walking, we occasionally try to do a family walk. But it's always a struggle. The problem is lack of inclination on their part. They moan about the car journey to get to the walk's starting point, the exertion, the mud, the cows...and, surprise, surprise, a walk suddenly becomes much less appealing.

Last weekend I made scones. We went out on a walk with the promise of returning to a home-baked cream tea, and that made quite a difference. The kids barely complained once. However, they did, from time to time, start chanting 'stile, scones; stile, scones'. Apparently the several stiles that they had to climb coupled with the scones that were waiting for them back home were the only things that made the walk bearable!

Result...I think.

The optimism of the young and the cynicism of the middle-aged

When I was out and about the other day I overheard two young shop assistants discussing their futures. They were talking about the degrees that they were currently studying for and how much they were looking forward to joining the world of work. One of them was hoping to enter the publishing industry, working with art books (her degree was in history of art, I think). “I just love the look and feel of those books,” she said. She sounded so excited, so enthusiastic, so full of energy.

I wonder what happens to us in middle age? Of course, some people still love their jobs, but many (at least those who I know) do not. Work is a means to earning money, to maintaining a certain standard of living, but the day-to-day grind is, well...a grind. I spent many years working in the publishing industry (and still freelance in the field). The work is fine, but certainly not glamorous. The reality is all about the bottom line, rather than the books, trying to get as much done with as little resource as possible. It’s much the same in most industries today, I think.

I look at the up-and-coming generation with awe. My oldest daughter is a case in point. She already, at the age of twelve, knows what she wants to do career-wise. And she is enthusiastic, articulate, confident, as are all her friends. I just don’t remember my own generation possessing such maturity and poise at such a young age. As middle-aged parents we need to be careful not to dampen our children’s spirits, not to tarnish their optimism with our cynicism.

My novel FREE on Amazon, 26--30 December

"Travels on a Greyhound Bus" will be free on Amazon from 26 until 30 December inclusive.

This is a lively, fun novel with a serious point -- how romantic relationships change over time and how people react when those relationships come under pressure. It has good independent reviews and 4.6 stars on Amazon.

You can download "Travels on a Greyhound Bus" at Amazon UK and Amazon.com.

The blurb follows below:

People change. Relationships evolve. But sometimes by too much...

Hip students Araminta Stewart and Giles Richmond meet entirely by chance when travelling around the USA by Greyhound Bus. They hit it off. Some twenty years later, they are married with three children and have reached a crisis point in their relationship.

Araminta thought she knew what she wanted all those years ago. But now she’s got it, is she really happy? Or could there be more to life than this?
Told from Araminta’s point of view, "Travels on a Greyhound Bus" follows the couple as they navigate these two very different periods in their lives. While their early relationship flourishes, their later relationship appears to be disintegrating.

Faced with disappointment, frustration and the biggest challenge to their marriage yet, the question is: will Araminta and Giles’ relationship survive the journey of a lifetime?