I recently wrote a blog post about two of my favourite films -- "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset", starring Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke. I mentioned there that I was looking forward to the next film in the 'series' --"Before Midnight", which I had put on my LoveFilm list.
Luckily for me, it turned out that I didn't have to wait for "Before Midnight" to appear on LoveFilm, because my lovely husband bought me the DVD for Christmas. We've now found time to watch the film, and here are my thoughts.
True to formula, "Before Midnight" takes place (both in the film and in reality) roughly ten years after the previous film, "Before Sunset". "Before Sunset" closed on a cliffhanger with Delpy and Hawke having just met for the first time after their initial encounter ten years previously. They are still strongly attracted to one another, but Hawke is now trapped in a loveless marriage and has a son. At the end of "Before Sunset" it was entirely unclear whether Hawke would return to his unhappy life in the US or remain with Delpy in Paris.
In "Before Midnight", we learn that Hawke did indeed remain with Delpy in Paris--we catch up with them at the end of a summer spent in Greece with their twin girls, aged six, and Hawke's son, now about to start high school. Seeing his son off at the airport, Hawke begins to question the life that he is now living. He may be living with the woman he loves, but he is missing out on his son's youth entirely.
Hawke and Delpy spend their last evening in Greece together without their children--courtesy of the friends with whom they are staying, who have booked a hotel room for them and are providing babysitting. Instead of being a romantic getaway, though, the evening turns into a full-scale row, with Hawke's fears about his son coming to the fore, and the couple's dissatisfaction with their lives and with one another emerging.
The themes that this film covers will be familiar to any long-term couple with kids--loss of romance over the years, how to combine career and family, how difficult it is for both partners to be fulfilled career-wise, the division of domestic labour, loss of identity, ageing, the 'rational' partner versus the 'emotional' partner...
Needless to say, the tone of "Before Midnight" is quite different from the first two films, which are romantic, focussing on the hopes and aspirations of a couple meeting for the first (and second!) time. In "Before Midnight" the romance is gone and reality has set in. It is not a feelgood film, but it does accurately reflect reality--the reality of an established relationship with children.
And that's exactly what I enjoyed about this film--the reality, something with which we can all identify. It's what I enjoyed about the other two films, as well--I could identify with them since they reflected my own experience and thoughts in my twenties, and then my thirties.
If you're looking for something interesting, provocative and conversation-worthy, the "Before..." trilogy comes highly recommended.
25 January, 2014
18 January, 2014
Giving up seats on buses
I travel into work and back on the bus three days a week, so
am very used to observing people’s behaviour when travelling on public
transport.
As a girl I was brought up to believe that, on a crowded bus, it was the right thing to give my seat up to those less able to stand than myself, i.e. elderly people, pregnant women, people coping with young children, etc., etc. And I still adhere to that belief, even though I am now middle aged (although still, of course, perfectly able to stand on a bus).
As a girl I was brought up to believe that, on a crowded bus, it was the right thing to give my seat up to those less able to stand than myself, i.e. elderly people, pregnant women, people coping with young children, etc., etc. And I still adhere to that belief, even though I am now middle aged (although still, of course, perfectly able to stand on a bus).
It appears, however, that the majority of young people
nowadays have not been brought up that way. I have often observed someone
elderly and frail board the bus, and not a single young person has offered their seat, even though
they are often taking up spaces at the front of the bus that are expressly
labelled as being for the less able or infirm. Usually it falls to someone
older (like me) to accommodate.
This morning, a lady made her way to the back of the bus,
announcing that she was pregnant and asking whether anyone would like to give
up their seat. Someone immediately did.
When I was pregnant with my two children, I travelled to and
from work every day on the bus. On the occasions when there were no free seats,
I don’t recall anyone offering theirs to me. I certainly wouldn’t have asked, and, to be honest, I was
perfectly fit during both my pregnancies and able to stand fine, even at full
term.
It seems a shame, though, that things have changed so much
since my childhood and that these kinds of small courtesies have disappeared
amongst the young. People are so absorbed in their ipods and themselves that
they are apparently oblivious to the world around them. Or perhaps that’s just
a convenient excuse...
11 January, 2014
Family frustrations
Although I love my kids to bits and love my family life, I sometimes feel frustrated by these things. Trapped, even.
One good example of this is when it comes to jobs. I work part time and I want to do this so that I can reserve some time for my family. So that I can be around when the kids come home from school, so that I can be there when they want a lift to an activity or an event. So that they are not always in after school care rather than at home.
However, I want to continue developing my career as well as offering support to my family. I don't just want to abandon my career, only to find that once the kids are sufficiently grown up, I'm too old and it's too late.
If you are working part time, career development is difficult, as so few roles come up that are both senior and part time. I sometimes feel envious of people who don't have my family ties. People who can move anywhere in the country (or beyond) to take up an opportunity, and who can work full time without feeling that they are short changing another area of their lives.
I have briefly considered working full time again. Focusing on my career rather than my family. But I quickly realise that this is not really what I want. Consider, for example, the recent news article about the woman who juggled a top job in the City with raising a large family. One of her children ended up as a young teenager running amok, mixing with a bad crowd and taking recreational drugs. The woman had to resort to sending her daughter to a US 'boot camp' in order to get her back on the straight and narrow.
That is emphatically not the outcome I want for my children. I want to provide them with time and attention and a steady home life so that, when they leave home, they are equipped to cope in the world and to succeed. I don't want to devolve that responsibility to someone else. And so I continue to work part time and to develop my career as far as I can within those parameters.
Having it all is not about quantity -- having everything, but in fact only focusing on one thing to the detriment of all the others. Having it all (in my opinion) should rather be about quality. About finding the right balance so that you can succeed in all of the areas that you have taken on. After all, what's the point of having it all if half of what you have is, in effect, broken?
One good example of this is when it comes to jobs. I work part time and I want to do this so that I can reserve some time for my family. So that I can be around when the kids come home from school, so that I can be there when they want a lift to an activity or an event. So that they are not always in after school care rather than at home.
However, I want to continue developing my career as well as offering support to my family. I don't just want to abandon my career, only to find that once the kids are sufficiently grown up, I'm too old and it's too late.
If you are working part time, career development is difficult, as so few roles come up that are both senior and part time. I sometimes feel envious of people who don't have my family ties. People who can move anywhere in the country (or beyond) to take up an opportunity, and who can work full time without feeling that they are short changing another area of their lives.
I have briefly considered working full time again. Focusing on my career rather than my family. But I quickly realise that this is not really what I want. Consider, for example, the recent news article about the woman who juggled a top job in the City with raising a large family. One of her children ended up as a young teenager running amok, mixing with a bad crowd and taking recreational drugs. The woman had to resort to sending her daughter to a US 'boot camp' in order to get her back on the straight and narrow.
That is emphatically not the outcome I want for my children. I want to provide them with time and attention and a steady home life so that, when they leave home, they are equipped to cope in the world and to succeed. I don't want to devolve that responsibility to someone else. And so I continue to work part time and to develop my career as far as I can within those parameters.
Having it all is not about quantity -- having everything, but in fact only focusing on one thing to the detriment of all the others. Having it all (in my opinion) should rather be about quality. About finding the right balance so that you can succeed in all of the areas that you have taken on. After all, what's the point of having it all if half of what you have is, in effect, broken?
04 January, 2014
Wendy and Peter Pan
On New Year's Eve, my family and I followed our time-honoured tradition of going out to the theatre.
This year we opted to go and see "Wendy and Peter Pan" at the RSC in Stratford. My husband and I used to go to the RSC regularly before the kids were born and we fancied a repeat visit, not least to see the newly-built theatre. We also fancied a change from the samey pantomimes that our home town has to offer.
The RSC didn't disappoint us. "Wendy and Peter Pan" was a truly fantastic experience. The acting was superb and the staging amazing. And the stage adaptation of J. M. Barrie's classic was given a really interesting feminist twist by writer Ella Hickson. Wendy and her mother were depicted as the ones taking responsibility for everyone and everything all the time, while Pan and 'the boys' constantly played and took no responsibility for anything whatsoever. The question of why the women never had time to have fun and relax with the boys arose throughout, and issues of women's suffrage and women in the workplace were touched upon.
The play comes highly recommended.
Of course, Stratford is not only about the theatre. The town itself is wonderful to wander round too. There are so many timber-framed buildings in such a small space and history abounds. We also managed to fit in lunch at a lovely independent cafe--No.37 Cafe on Sheep Street. The food was freshly made and delicious and the service personal and extremely friendly. A great find to augment our theatre trip!
This year we opted to go and see "Wendy and Peter Pan" at the RSC in Stratford. My husband and I used to go to the RSC regularly before the kids were born and we fancied a repeat visit, not least to see the newly-built theatre. We also fancied a change from the samey pantomimes that our home town has to offer.
The RSC didn't disappoint us. "Wendy and Peter Pan" was a truly fantastic experience. The acting was superb and the staging amazing. And the stage adaptation of J. M. Barrie's classic was given a really interesting feminist twist by writer Ella Hickson. Wendy and her mother were depicted as the ones taking responsibility for everyone and everything all the time, while Pan and 'the boys' constantly played and took no responsibility for anything whatsoever. The question of why the women never had time to have fun and relax with the boys arose throughout, and issues of women's suffrage and women in the workplace were touched upon.
The play comes highly recommended.
Of course, Stratford is not only about the theatre. The town itself is wonderful to wander round too. There are so many timber-framed buildings in such a small space and history abounds. We also managed to fit in lunch at a lovely independent cafe--No.37 Cafe on Sheep Street. The food was freshly made and delicious and the service personal and extremely friendly. A great find to augment our theatre trip!
28 December, 2013
Before Sunrise/Sunset
A couple of my all time favourite films are "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset", starring Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke. For those of you who don't know, these two films are set ten years apart. The first, "Before Sunrise", sketches the two protagonists who, in their early twenties, meet on a train travelling across Europe and, strongly attracted to one another, alight together in Vienna. They have a few hours in one another's company--before sunrise--before Hawke has to board a plane back to the States.
They spend this time wandering the streets of Vienna, getting to know one another, weaving in and out of music shops, parks, and bars. At the end of their few hours together, Hawke sees Delpy onto a train home and they hurriedly agree to meet again in exactly a year's time in the very same place (no texting or Facebook in those days!).
"Before Sunset" catches up with the couple ten years later in Paris when Hawke is doing a book signing at Delpy's favourite bookshop. Delpy turns up at the signing and surprises Hawke (predictably, they didn't manage to meet again in Vienna). Both are unhappy--Hawke trapped in a loveless marriage and Delpy still seeking that elusive perfect relationship.
This time they wander the streets of Paris and talk. The attraction is still there. The film closes with Hawke in Delpy's apartment, laughing, already having missed his plane back to the States and his wife and son.
What I love about these two films is the dialogue and the oh-so-recognisable depiction of how people change over time. In "Before Sunrise" you can really see the couple becoming closer and more relaxed with one another as they talk about anything and everything. In true twenty-something fashion they cover the 'big' issues -- the environment, women's lib, the nature of love, reincarnation. They are open, optimistic. They have nothing to lose and everything ahead of them.
By the time we meet them again, they have lost that optimism. They have become jaded; they have acquired some hard edges. They have come to realise that life is not that easy and that whatever they thought at twenty-one, life is no longer their oyster. They can still talk, though, but this time their conversation is more direct, more gritty. The romanticism of early youth has dissipated.
I recently liberated my Before Sunrise/Sunset box set (yes, sad, I know!) and watched the films again. I still love them and my husband and I got talking about what might have happened to Hawke and Delpy next. I did a quick bit of internet research the next day and was delighted to see that another film has just been released--"Before Midnight"--in which we meet the couple another ten years on, in their early forties. "Before Midnight" went straight on my LoveFilm list and I can't wait to see it!
I wonder whether there will be another film in another ten years, when the couple are in their early fifties--and what the title of that one might be?!
They spend this time wandering the streets of Vienna, getting to know one another, weaving in and out of music shops, parks, and bars. At the end of their few hours together, Hawke sees Delpy onto a train home and they hurriedly agree to meet again in exactly a year's time in the very same place (no texting or Facebook in those days!).
"Before Sunset" catches up with the couple ten years later in Paris when Hawke is doing a book signing at Delpy's favourite bookshop. Delpy turns up at the signing and surprises Hawke (predictably, they didn't manage to meet again in Vienna). Both are unhappy--Hawke trapped in a loveless marriage and Delpy still seeking that elusive perfect relationship.
This time they wander the streets of Paris and talk. The attraction is still there. The film closes with Hawke in Delpy's apartment, laughing, already having missed his plane back to the States and his wife and son.
What I love about these two films is the dialogue and the oh-so-recognisable depiction of how people change over time. In "Before Sunrise" you can really see the couple becoming closer and more relaxed with one another as they talk about anything and everything. In true twenty-something fashion they cover the 'big' issues -- the environment, women's lib, the nature of love, reincarnation. They are open, optimistic. They have nothing to lose and everything ahead of them.
By the time we meet them again, they have lost that optimism. They have become jaded; they have acquired some hard edges. They have come to realise that life is not that easy and that whatever they thought at twenty-one, life is no longer their oyster. They can still talk, though, but this time their conversation is more direct, more gritty. The romanticism of early youth has dissipated.
I recently liberated my Before Sunrise/Sunset box set (yes, sad, I know!) and watched the films again. I still love them and my husband and I got talking about what might have happened to Hawke and Delpy next. I did a quick bit of internet research the next day and was delighted to see that another film has just been released--"Before Midnight"--in which we meet the couple another ten years on, in their early forties. "Before Midnight" went straight on my LoveFilm list and I can't wait to see it!
I wonder whether there will be another film in another ten years, when the couple are in their early fifties--and what the title of that one might be?!
22 December, 2013
A grand day out at the National
Last weekend we (my husband, myself and our kids) had a treat and were taken to see 'Emil and the Detectives' at the National Theatre by my parents in law.
The play was very good -- fairly low on plot complexity (which is what you'd expect from a children's story, I suppose), but extremely well directed. Lots of clever scenery, the inevitable chase through the audience, and a huge cast of children with excellent acting ability displayed by those in speaking parts.
After the play we were spoilt even further and taken to the Mezzanine Restaurant at the National. We had a lovely meal--the food there is always first class, especially the freshly baked bread--and the kids benefited from the new children's menu. They chose chicken and chips followed by ice cream, which suited them perfectly.
So, we all had rather a grand day out at the National!
The play was very good -- fairly low on plot complexity (which is what you'd expect from a children's story, I suppose), but extremely well directed. Lots of clever scenery, the inevitable chase through the audience, and a huge cast of children with excellent acting ability displayed by those in speaking parts.
After the play we were spoilt even further and taken to the Mezzanine Restaurant at the National. We had a lovely meal--the food there is always first class, especially the freshly baked bread--and the kids benefited from the new children's menu. They chose chicken and chips followed by ice cream, which suited them perfectly.
So, we all had rather a grand day out at the National!
15 December, 2013
Nightmare month at work
I've had a nightmare month at work. There have been many things that have been irritating, but the worst has been the new release of my work's purchasing system, which was introduced at the beginning of November.
You would think that this might be a relatively straightforward exercise--simply transfer the users on the old system to the new system, ensuring that they have the same access rights and responsibilities as previously. But no, no, no.
Some people were OK and could use the new system no problem. But many were not OK. Take my situation--I was a shopper and an approver in the old system. In the new system I can approve (but only by clicking on the 'approve' link in the automated email that the system sends, not by actually going into the system itself!), but I have no shopping responsibility whatsoever.
I have been chasing this up tirelessly, as has the Head of Finance in my department, but to no avail. The systems team simply come back each time saying that I am not a migrating user, i.e. was not a user on the old system. BUT I WAS! Can't they just look at the old system and see that?!
It seems that the solution for me to be able to shop is to do lots of classroom-based training (I've already done lots of online training), including the training for new users -- WHICH I'M NOT!!
So, in the new year, rather than getting on with any real work, I'll be attending various training sessions which I don't actually need. What a ridiculous waste of time!
You would think that this might be a relatively straightforward exercise--simply transfer the users on the old system to the new system, ensuring that they have the same access rights and responsibilities as previously. But no, no, no.
Some people were OK and could use the new system no problem. But many were not OK. Take my situation--I was a shopper and an approver in the old system. In the new system I can approve (but only by clicking on the 'approve' link in the automated email that the system sends, not by actually going into the system itself!), but I have no shopping responsibility whatsoever.
I have been chasing this up tirelessly, as has the Head of Finance in my department, but to no avail. The systems team simply come back each time saying that I am not a migrating user, i.e. was not a user on the old system. BUT I WAS! Can't they just look at the old system and see that?!
It seems that the solution for me to be able to shop is to do lots of classroom-based training (I've already done lots of online training), including the training for new users -- WHICH I'M NOT!!
So, in the new year, rather than getting on with any real work, I'll be attending various training sessions which I don't actually need. What a ridiculous waste of time!
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